Things have been totally messed up lately, 前一段时间还担心着房子，relationship，internship.....tons of things, 但是现在回头看看，自己都一个一个挺过来了，感觉很放松。那个时候觉得这日子过得天昏地暗的，但是一下子乌云又全都消散了，Ms sunshine again，仿佛以前的担心都毫无意义似的。可能因为太多的desires吧，越多的desires，越多的burden。但是我又怎能无所求呢？
Love conquers all. I heart it in DDD today. True or not, I don't know. But if I follow the logic, what we had was no love. 因为一个困难就把我们吓倒了。之前还觉得自己满腔气愤，觉得他cheated on me, 但是现在已经pass the stage of anger了，他有他自己的选择，似乎一切迹象都说明我们不够相爱。话说回来，我自己也是一个coward，不肯为了爱放弃。抑或是自己不够爱他？
上个礼拜，因为荷尔蒙的关系，觉得自己都要崩溃了， missed him so much。 但是现在，他可能正和他的新女友手牵手散步，又怎么样呢？又能怎么样呢？其实有的时候自己真的想fight for him, 但是又觉得没有意义，’cause I cannot offer him what he wants. I cannot offer him happiness. Why not? Because that goes against my own dream. I deserve respect and I have the right to pursue my dream. 所以想一想，还是算了吧，别再纠缠了，move on。
我不清楚现在自己是在哪一个stage，也不知道什么时候能走出阴霾。But what I'm sure is that I am totally not ready to date someone else. I will just be alone for a while.
Next time, when I fall in love with the right person, I will seize the opportunity, fight for it and never give up. 期待......
期待一段柏拉图式的恋爱......
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